My thoughts are all over the place right now (can you say pregnancy hormones???), but I feel the need to write them down. So bear with me as they may be in a very random order. Or maybe I'll surprise myself and somehow come up with an organized piece of writing.
So first of all, this pregnancy has caused me to look deeper into all sorts of things in life that I generally ignore, or just remain a bit passive about. Of course, I'm sure that has something to do with it not being "all about me" anymore. The first part of this pregnancy, I was still pretty passive about things in general, and was slightly terrified about giving birth, but overjoyed about the "afterwards" part. Then through my search of a better place to birth, I came down to the conclusion that the best and safest place would be at home, just Robby and I. No midwife, no doctor. The only
reason I would consider having a midwife around would be for the outside emotional support (since sometimes I feel at a loss for words with Robby, not wanting to overwhelm him with all these hormones). But, since that would basically be like paying for a $4000 psychologist, I am passing completely on that.
My research of unassisted childbirth opened my eyes to my already present suspicions of the medical industry. Deep down I always just "knew" that there were hidden agendas behind the industry and that no, they did not
always care about your well-being. Through my experiences working with USANA Health Sciences(
), I have also learned that most doctors have no training in nutrition, and/or prevention. Medical school teaches the band-aid method, where only current symptoms are "treated" and the problem at heart remains the same. Yet most of America buys into media-produced image that things like Tylenol and Prozac will fix your problems, when in fact, your situation will most likely worsen under the surface.
After what seemed like endless amounts of reading and discussing with other women, my decision to birth unassisted (I'd really rather say birth normally
) was definite. I continue to read up on the different ways that women birth their babies, and the possible variations (what most of our society labels as "complications") that can occur, and how they are handled. I feel like I myself could pass as a midwife! Hehe.
When my brain was fried with birth research, I moved on to other things. While emailing back and forth with some people, I noticed that in one of their "signatures" they mentioned that they "unschooled" their children. I wondered what the hell that was all about, so I asked. And well, it is the act of allowing children to run their natural course of learning, without forcing them into institutions (schools) that have a strict format of learning. This scheduled and formatted learning does not cater to the fact that every human being learns best at their own pace, in their own way or method. So I go on to research more, as I am intrigued and think back to my own school days.
So another learning spree of researching goes on, and I learn about the history of how school actually came about, and what its purposes were. I wasn't really surprised to learn that the education industry has their hidden agendas as well. I start to wonder just HOW MANY
things that seem so "normal" in our society are actually scams to benefit a small group of people. It's quite frightening and downright frustrating to get hit in the head with "Hey, you've basically been lied to all your life."
I used to criticize anarchists as just being self-righteous noncomforming rebels who were wasting their time. Now I can actually see some of the reasons behind their thinking. People on all sides of just about everything can and will sometimes go overboard, but I am trying to find my own balance here.
Recently I delved a bit into environmental safety and activism but didn't go very deep. But it lead me to research cloth diapers, which I knew were also cost-effective versus disposables, but I never realized by how much!! Breastfeeding is something I've always planned to do, and for as long as possible--or as long as baby/toddler/child wants to. So no convincing needed there.
I was pretty intrigued when I came across "natural home building." I had always secretly dreamed of living in a rural little spot of my own, house made from the trees on my land, all-natural everything; rainwater from a resevoir, solar power and/or candles for lighting, natural clothing washed and dried naturally, and of course, all my food either grown by me or bought/traded with friends and neighbors. Realistically, I probably wouldn't give up my washing machine, but could switch to line drying. Also, I think we'd stick with some electricity and running water, but still have the solar power and resevoir (my parents had one at their house on Guam when typhoons would leave us without things like power and water). I also did a lot of reading on "green cleaning and gardening" and using natural products to make your own house cleaners, sprays, detergent, fertilizers, pest-killers, etc.
With a baby on the way, we'll see how much of this I actually put into practice. I'm going to start slowly, with the things that work best for our current situation, and gradually (it's a lifelong process!) add other aspects into our lifestyle.
Oh, and one more thing. Vaccinations. I start doing a little research, and low and behold, another debatable topic! So much for my brain to think about. I had some suspicions about why we would have to inject ourselves with chemicals to be immune from disease, but never really questioned or put much thought into the subject. The majority public view is "You're just supposed to do it." But WHY??? That's what I wanted to know. And then I start finding things on the dangers of vaccines and realize that I put my toes into a VERY
deep pool of water. The one thing that comforts me is that you do NOT have to follow the vaccine schedule. Therefor, you can do all the research you want in the time it takes you to come up with an INFORMED
decision on whether or not to vaccinate your child. Once they are vaccinated, you can never take it back. But if you are still doing research and hold off for awhile, the option to vaccinate is still there. So I will be doing extensive research on this topic, as I am logically worried about my child's safety. One more thing to think about!
In general, my view of our society as a whole, paired with an emerging world view, is changing a bit. Even when I was young, I felt that too many people just do what they are told to do, no questions asked. My mother can verify that I would not settle for that. I wanted to know WHY and questioned everything, often disagreeing with certain overall public opinions. And now that I am learning how a public opinion is mass-produced by only a few who understand the thought process of a large group of people...it is becoming more obvious that following your instincts is usually the best thing to do. If something doesn't feel right, DON'T DO IT.
I've learned this the hard way many times. Now I'm looking into prevention. ;-)
Posted by shell024
at 2:12 PM PDT
Updated: Saturday, 16 July 2005 2:27 PM PDT